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faith_n_myself

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[16 Nov 2004|07:49am]
[ mood | bored ]

1st--Send (forward) this survey to everyone you
know to see how well he or she knows you.

2nd--Complete (reply) this survey about the
person who sent it to you and send it back to
them. (You will have to copy and paste.)

Your Name: _____________________

Where did we meet?

Take a stab at my middle name.

Do I believe in God?

How long have you known me?

Do I smoke?

What was your first impression of me upon meeting?

Color of my eyes?

Do I have any siblings?

What's one of my favorite things to do?

Do you remember one of the first things I said to you?

What's my favorite type of music?

What is the best feature about me?

Am I shy or outgoing?

Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules?

What's your favorite memory of me?

Do I have any special talents?

Would you consider me a friend?

If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be?

If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what one thing would I bring?

1 burried alive ||I hate u Go Kill Urself....

Hit The FlOoR [14 Nov 2004|02:01pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Ughhhhh....Long ass weekend. Mike I hate you. I used to love u like an older brother to be honest. Ur dead to us. U fuckin say we didn't show up when ur the one who stood us up mike. U don't have any grounds to do what ur doing. N whats up with u sayin shit to ur dad to tell us. He told us he wasn't gunna tell us bc he wasn't gunna be like u and stoop that low. See what this is gunna get u. We lost joe and now u. U bein a complete dick to us is bad enough but u sayin matt isn't alowed around anymore is ten times worse. Ur affectin him the most ya kno. U kno it to and u jus don't give a fuck about him anymore and he gave u everything. believe it or not. Ur a fucked up lil kid u kno that mike. Ur a fuckin child. I hope u realize this is all ur fuckin fault. I was always there for you whenever I could. I thought u were awesome then u go pull somethin like this and totally catch us all off gaurd. We,......I guess are better off without u because u doin this shit to us we jus don't fuckin need okay mike. U sayin u want time a part is one thing but u don't need to completely abdoned us and talk shit about us. I don't know why ur doing this. N I kno Nina aint happy with you. Well Go hang out with crazy joe some more see where the fuck that one is gunna get ur ass......no where. N as days goes by, u wish this never happened and ur gunna wish u could take it all bak.

 

We made up with Kim Radigon this weekend. What a blurr that one was. She seemed a lil unconfortable bc she hasn't been around us in awhile but she was actually actin half way normal and not bitchy. But then I come to find out she is pressin charges on my brother.......Stupid Whore.

 I got in a fight with Kimmy this weekend. I won't even explain it. All I have to say is she got served.!!!

2 burried alive ||I hate u Go Kill Urself....

mine and eriks convo after he got home from bikin to my house..ilu baby [13 Nov 2004|02:44pm]
[ mood | happy ]

ForGetBoutMe ILU: are u home yet?
ForGetBoutMe ILU: its cassie
eman120031: yea im home
ForGetBoutMe ILU: i thought u were goin to ur friends house?
eman120031: im leaveing in like an hour
ForGetBoutMe ILU: be careful okay baby
eman120031: i will love you
ForGetBoutMe ILU: u got home really fast
eman120031: :-*
eman120031: yea
ForGetBoutMe ILU: im sorry i didnt kiss u......ill make it up to u....lol
eman120031: it felt long
ForGetBoutMe ILU: :-*
ForGetBoutMe ILU: i bet it did i feel so bad
ForGetBoutMe ILU: i feel so bad u road ur bike down here
eman120031: it is was fun
ForGetBoutMe ILU: thats why i didnt want u too and bc somethin coulda happened
eman120031: i liked it
eman120031: yea im not doing that ever again
ForGetBoutMe ILU: i kno u like bike rides im jus sayin...
ForGetBoutMe ILU: i dont want u too
ForGetBoutMe ILU: im sorry u did do it
eman120031: i wont it way to cold
eman120031: it fine
ForGetBoutMe ILU: i thought u said it wasnt cold out
ForGetBoutMe ILU: brb baby love u
eman120031: on the way back it was cold because i was going up hill
eman120031: love you to
eman120031: peace
eman120031 signed off at 2:41:23 PM.

I hate u Go Kill Urself....

It's Funny How shit is huh???!! Let the good times roll biotchs. [13 Nov 2004|12:33am]
[ mood | drained ]

It's funny how some thing turn out ya kno.......we lost mike, and gained kim radigon, we lost joe and gained matt(got sloser), we lost jessica and gained me. Now it's jessica, erik(when he can hang out), matt, rye and erica. It is real funny how things change and how fast they can get that way. I have been tryin to literly weed out all the bad shit in my life since the thing happened with Mikey. Even tho I am so dissapointed and mad at him, it like stuck to me, everything what he said. I am so mad at us for his recent actions, and how he is treatin matt and shit. We forgave Kim Radigon, she is gettin there, I am thinkin bout makin truce with Greg because, Well Idk. On veterans day the other day......a year ago was when I was with greg when I cried on his shoulder and he was cryin too when we saw them light the flags in flames and watched it for hours. I remember it so bad, I was honestly thinkin about it a lot....but anyway. Like I said I am tryin to weed it all out. I got in a fight with Kim Ruskwitz today. I saw her all in the mall and she didn't say a god damn word to me. It's funny, because I haven't done nothing but help that girl, tried to give her my best advise, I'd lie to her parents for her and do whatever I thought was right. She looked right at me like 4 times and she didn't say a word and jus gave me dirty looks. How low can u get Kim? Honestly. Im so much better then you it aint even funny. I served the shit out of you. Billions and billions served. Basiclly we went to the cronic and me and erica made her cry. I was talkin bout a little bit of everything. How she lied about everything, about her treating me like shit and about erik and how he hates her so fuckin bad, N how she lied about bad shit he didn't do to get me to break up with him. She was cryin. I got so pumped, I took off my sweatshirt and I was in a t shirt the whole time. I was pumped. Everyone thought I was gunna hit her. Not gunna stoop that low.She had body guards around her and they didn't even kno the truth I am the only one who knew it I slammed the truth in her face. I could go all day about what I said to her. I was screamin at the top of my lungs most of the time I spoke. U jus had to be there tho i can even explain it. Everyone was so proud of me JP  said I did good and he hugged me and I was like yayyy I actually stood up for myself. O I can keep goin about kim but I am not done with her. Now I will talk about the better half of my day. The begginin of the day didn't start off to hott. Bc jess and I got in a fight basiclly threatenin me about erik and shit....I kno she is jelous. TO KIM RUSQWITZ AND JESS HOUTMAN WHO TRY TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE SHIT BC ERIK LIKES ME AND NOT YOU........IM SORRY, HE LOVES ME. I DIDNT KNO IT WAS AGAINST THE LAW FOR HIM TO LIKE ME AND NOT YOU. Get over it. Don't kill urself or anything. Don't cutt, ro go drink, or go smoke, Jus suffore because I hate u (kim). So ya erica and rye had the grounds to defend me so they did. They came into a lot this morning. Then I got in a fight with JP (not so much matt) and jess. Jessica was basiclly askin me about my sex life with erik and shit and it got on my nerves bc 1 its non of anyones business and 2 she was mad and droppin her mouth and askin me bc she is jelous. I am sorry jess It is life...I kno what its like to go thru life not bein liked by like any guys. Believe me I kno. Erik totally caught me off guard completely. So ya anyway. Rye go tmad at Jess and JP and shit, So he had a talk with them. But matt was like u didnt did u........U DID! N the look he was given me.....it kinda made me feel bad...........I have no fuckin clue why. It was kinda weird. Hard to explain. Haaa Tonight was awesome. But ya. Then later at the mall at the cronic we had the thing with kim and I had an audience of about like 7 or 8 ppl and kim had...........2! Lol. Thought that was kinda funny. Sorry if im a bitch...git over it Kimmy. Erik doesnt like u...leave him the fuck alone. Or I will kill you. N leave my bro alone or I will personaly tomb stone ur ugly splinter ass off my fuckin roof. N I will have an audience cheerin. Now what bitch. I leave the rest for air to fuck u up. I hate you kim, Go fuckin shoot urself. Well My stomach is eatin it;s self right now so I need ot go eat. TO MY CREW U GUYS KICK ASS...LOVE U ALL SO MUCH DO NETHING FOR ALL OF U.!!! Matt, jess, air, rye, erik. Tomorrow I see erik for a couple hours then party after. Lol. Later Love ya all... Kim good to have u bak. Love u guys thanks for bein there on my first day of fuckin her up mentially and stickin up for myself. Lol...bye *kisses*

I hate u Go Kill Urself....

ON A LIGHTER NOTE (as erica would say).....* [12 Nov 2004|12:02am]
[ mood | tired ]

U HAVE TO READ THIS BRUCEAPHERES!

 

DarkShadoweNight: go to sleep
eman120031: no
DarkShadoweNight: o served
eman120031: no ill serve you in a minte
DarkShadoweNight: what are u doing up still
DarkShadoweNight: serve me then hot shot
eman12003: shre
DarkShadoweNight: say hi to my middle finger:-D
eman120031: ill brake it off
DarkShadoweNight: break it
DarkShadoweNight: i dare ya
eman120031: dont make me lol
DarkShadoweNight: o im makin ya
DarkShadoweNight: ya thats what i thought
eman120031: lol
eman120031: i miss you babie
eman120031: :'(
DarkShadoweNight: i jus saw u:-P
eman120031: i know
eman120031: :'(
DarkShadoweNight: dont cry lol
DarkShadoweNight: :-*
DarkShadoweNight: wait i got sunnin better............ill come over and ill go jump in the pool and freeze
eman120031: hey will you go out with me
DarkShadoweNight: dont talk to me jus cause erica told u too...
DarkShadoweNight: u kno that aint cool
eman120031: what aer you talking about
DarkShadoweNight: idk
DarkShadoweNight: im confused
DarkShadoweNight: what about ur parents??
eman120031: i dont care
DarkShadoweNight: how can u say that and what about what u said to kim?
DarkShadoweNight: and that was like 2 days ago
eman120031: that was all lies
DarkShadoweNight: then why the did u say it to her then?
DarkShadoweNight: didnt we look up lie in the dictionary today
eman120031: because i was acting stupid
DarkShadoweNight: ur not stupid.
eman120031: yea i am
DarkShadoweNight: i love u and i do wanna go bak out with u
eman120031: i let you go and i was being dum
DarkShadoweNight: u let me go bc ur parents made u and u felt u wanted to too
DarkShadoweNight: baby i love you........talk to me about it.
eman120031: i love you to cassie
DarkShadoweNight: why did u do it.
eman120031: because i was being an asshole to you and breaking you heart
DarkShadoweNight: yes ask erica what i was like when it happened
DarkShadoweNight: what would make u say that to kim....and besides i thought u couldnt stand her
eman120031: i cant i was just being nice to her so you would go out whit em
eman12003: me
DarkShadoweNight: why do u think u ahve to be nice to her thinkin that would make me wanna date you
DarkShadoweNight: first of all i would prefer the oppisite and i would go out with u anyway and i hope she falls off the face of the earth and dies
eman120031: she is your best friend
DarkShadoweNight: wo wo wo wait a damn minute no she isnt i havent been able to get away from her since i met her and she makes me feel shit about how i look and shit and she rubs it in my face that u liked her and shit and erica is my best friend
DarkShadoweNight: lol sorry
eman120031: ok know that i know that i will be happy
DarkShadoweNight: what u thought i liked her alot and she was my best friend and that was why u were nice to her?
eman120031: because she was being nice to me
DarkShadoweNight: so what u can block her and do what ever u want anyway, if she comes near u ever ill kill her skinny ugly ass.....she needs to go fuck her brother some more
eman120031: lol
eman120031: :-)
DarkShadoweNight: god u kno that
DarkShadoweNight: ill fuckin kill her me and erica would fuckin ... ugh
eman120031: lol
DarkShadoweNight: o now u got me pumped
DarkShadoweNight: lol
eman120031: lol;
DarkShadoweNight: ooo not funny
DarkShadoweNight: hey erik..........?
eman120031: sorry
DarkShadoweNight: no its fine
DarkShadoweNight: naw but  guess what tho
eman120031: what
DarkShadoweNight: I LOVE YOU:-*
DarkShadoweNight: LOL
eman12003: not as much as i do babie :-)
DarkShadoweNight: dont even get me started
DarkShadoweNight: i can go all night long
DarkShadoweNight: o that didnt sound right
DarkShadoweNight: ya thats what i thought......i won
eman12003: lol
eman12003: yea you did
DarkShadoweNight: wo baby lower the font
DarkShadoweNight: haha thats what i thought
DarkShadoweNight: ;-)
eman12003: lol
DarkShadoweNight: there ya go
eman12003: :-D
DarkShadoweNight: i still don't even get it tho
eman12003: so what aer you don g
eman12003: doing
DarkShadoweNight: listenin to music talkin to u and air and thinkin
DarkShadoweNight: why what are you doing
eman12003: that is cool
DarkShadoweNight: ya isnt it tho.......
DarkShadoweNight: nirvana *headbangs* o sorry
eman120031: im chillen talken to my friends and haging out
eman120031: and listen to music
DarkShadoweNight: ya us too
DarkShadoweNight: we r bangin to nirvana
DarkShadoweNight: lot literly....banging......then ud be here
DarkShadoweNight: lol jus kidding!\
eman120031: lol
DarkShadoweNight: anyyyywaaayyy
DarkShadoweNight: do u miss us already?
DarkShadoweNight: lol
eman120031: yea
DarkShadoweNight: i bet....ur missed to by all:-D
DarkShadoweNight: u still have glitter on you? lol
eman120031: no i took a shower
DarkShadoweNight: lol
DarkShadoweNight: hmmmm why u so quiet
eman120031: notiion im going to bed
DarkShadoweNight: okay
DarkShadoweNight: i love u
eman120031: love you to
DarkShadoweNight: night bye
eman120031: bye

I hate u Go Kill Urself....

Didn't get everything settled [09 Nov 2004|09:22pm]
[ mood | busy ]

 

*Out in the living room doing homewrok to catch up on bc the marking period is over tomorrow and gotta make the rents' proud* I kno I got in a small fight with erik but I still love u so much and I wanna do something with u tomorrow or sometime. I think matt rye and air and I r goin to party on friday so IDK. I am gunna get drunk on oreo's! WOOOO.. LOL. bbs leave me a msg to come bak to or u can call. I love u so much *kisses*

I hate u Go Kill Urself....

[09 Nov 2004|06:34pm]
[ mood | enraged ]

 "Every girl wants a man, she can go up to in sweats, hair a mess, make-up running, eyes red from crying, and the first thing he says to her is, 'Baby your beautiful.'And means it."

eman120031: hey
DarkShadoweNight: . . . . hi
eman120031: what up
DarkShadoweNight: nothing
eman120031: so what are you doing
DarkShadoweNight: thinking
DarkShadoweNight: why
eman120031: just asking
DarkShadoweNight: okay
eman120031: so what aer you doing to marroe
eman120031: marrow
DarkShadoweNight: i hesititated to tell you everything that you dont kno  because i knew i would regret it
DarkShadoweNight: im not doing anything
DarkShadoweNight: prolly chillin with my crew
eman120031: cool
DarkShadoweNight: if u say so
DarkShadoweNight: so why couldnt u tell me that u werent confortable dating me as well as ur dad?
DarkShadoweNight: how many times do i have to tell me people to tell me the truth even if it hurts
eman120031: what the fuck are you talk ing about
DarkShadoweNight: kim told me that thats one of the things u said to her when she imed you. and if u are jus fuckin with my head to do shit with me and u dont like me or whatever ur wastin my time
DarkShadoweNight: so jus tell me the truth
eman120031: yea i did say that
DarkShadoweNight: okay finally some truth....why wouldnt u tell me?
eman120031: i dont know
DarkShadoweNight: thats why i havent told u everything about me because i thought that i might regret it liek amd person stuff that i dont tell a whole lotta people
DarkShadoweNight: so why are u jus fuckin with my head bc u kno i like u a lot and ur jus here to make out with me  and stuff am i right?
eman120031: no im not fucking whit your head stop
DarkShadoweNight: im bein serious...ien jokin its been on my mind for awhile and i want things answered
eman120031: ok
DarkShadoweNight: what the hell do u want from me
eman120031: you
DarkShadoweNight: if ur afraid to tell me the truth bc u think my brother or someone else will kick ur ass dont be cause it wont happen........what do u mean me
eman120031: hey what i said to kim is ture because im a asshole and no has ever fallen in love whit me
DarkShadoweNight: first of all u need to start tellin me the truth okay and 2 u want me bc no one else has ever falled in love with u before?
DarkShadoweNight: and ur not an asshole
eman120031: yea
DarkShadoweNight: im not jokin im not gunna bother unless ur gunna tell me the truth
DarkShadoweNight: and i kno i ant ur girlfriend but u dont kno how bad it hurts when u talk about other girls and i hear shit about u and stuff
eman120031: like what
eman120031: ????

DarkShadoweNight: okay hmm ur profile....the shit i hear from a girl i go to skool with and from kim
DarkShadoweNight: and ur a guy.... guys can do rela hurtful shit.......i kno
eman120031: i dont date any one else right know
eman120031: so chill
DarkShadoweNight: why u gettin all up tight about it
DarkShadoweNight: fine whatever ill jus drop it
DarkShadoweNight: what are u mad at me
eman120031: no im talking
eman120031: brb
DarkShadoweNight: right......okay

He signed off after a while> eman12003 signed off at 6:43:59 PM.

I hate u Go Kill Urself....

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR [09 Nov 2004|10:23am]
[ mood | angry ]

I read eriks profile last night and it made me mad he was talklin bout what kinda girls he likes and stuff it pissed me off. Dude I thought he liked me and stuff....dude I am so mad. I am in tec imma get in trouble. I could kill him, I need to talk to him bad. I need to get some things answered right away! If he is jus messin with my head to do stuff then it aint cool. He shouldnt even be worryin about other girls. I dont worry about other guys so wtf....erica help meeeeeeee....I gotta go now But I love u all I am so madddddddddd.grrrrrrrrrrrrr...I love my crew buh bye update later

I hate u Go Kill Urself....

It Hurts [08 Nov 2004|10:41pm]
[ mood | confused ]

eman120031: you

Auto response from DarkShadoweNight: Callin it a night. I am chillen with the crew again tomorrow like always and havin some bloody action, lol.

Angels East, Angels west, North and South jus do ur best, Gaurd her and watch her while she rest. I love u erik and miss you so much, I had fun today at ur house. I want u to hang out with us on thur. or fri. baby I love u and Sweet Dreams.  ttyl love u all nighty night! *kisses*

DarkShadoweNight: ew what do u want
DarkShadoweNight: naw u
eman120031: what do you want
DarkShadoweNight: u
DarkShadoweNight: why r u up so late
DarkShadoweNight: hmm u wanna kno what kim told me today
eman120031: what
DarkShadoweNight: she said that ur dad wasnt the only one unconfortable dating me ... u were
DarkShadoweNight: why cant u jus tell me stuff huh u
DarkShadoweNight: what u cant speak
eman120031 signed off at 10:36:58 PM.

I hate u Go Kill Urself....

[08 Nov 2004|08:48pm]
I am bored I am talkin to Kim about what she said to erik when I talked to him on AIM last. I saw him today yayyyy I didn't give him to many kisses so here is another one baby love u
I hate u Go Kill Urself....

Pebo? [08 Nov 2004|08:21pm]
[ mood | amused ]

comment to be added/stay added.

 

2 burried alive ||I hate u Go Kill Urself....

mwhaha [08 Nov 2004|07:03pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

I jus got bak from erik's house. I was there from 5 to 6:30 and boy did it go fast. Thank u rye and air for lettin me go and for u coming. U kno how much it means to me even tho it seems like 2 seconds instead of almost 2 hours. I hope I get to see him thursday or friday to hang out with us. It was fun but lol I still think it went by too fast but I am not complannin because I consider myself to be lucky. *ErIk+CaSsIe*

Matt, I understand how bad it feels, really I do. U have no idea and erica knows how it feels too (right air). I am not gunna sit here and tell u about ur life as u already kno it will happen plenty more times.

Mike, jus like joe....ur dead to us.

Joe...ur fuckin dead to us.

I need to get some typing and homework done full of projects. The end of the markin period is comin up and I need my fuckin grades a lil higher. I will put blood sweat and tears in it if I had too jus like I would do for erik. Lol. Aight well I AM OUT. I love my crew *matt, rye, air bear, and erik*

I hate u Go Kill Urself....

[08 Nov 2004|10:27am]
[ mood | anxious ]

erica im turnin my phone on at 3 o clock call it 436-6816 love ya gotta go im in tec gunna get in trouble thanks bye

I hate u Go Kill Urself....

Ah hell naw [07 Nov 2004|10:34pm]
[ mood | scared ]

VERY VERY VERY LOOOOOONG ASS WEEKEND AND SCAREY AND BAD. IT WAS THE WORST IVE HAD.

I cant explain it all on here id be here all night but if u must kno maybe I'll tell ya


ALL I KNO IS IM BEIN PICKED TOMORROW AFTER SKOOL AND GOIN TO SEE MY BABY FOR A COUPLE HOURS LOL BOUT TIME. LOL JK LOVE U GUYS.!!!

2 burried alive ||I hate u Go Kill Urself....

[06 Nov 2004|10:49pm]
[ mood | angry ]

Ugh such a loooooooooong night. If I told u everything u would be here till tomorrow. I am goin to erica's party tomorrow. I jus talked to erik....yayyyyyy. He is in boston right now. He said he wont be home till 5 but that is too late for the party and I wanna se him soooooo bad, he was like do u have to then he said he had to get off, Lol. I wanna see him, he asked me if I could go to his house and I said I couldn't because I was gunna be in parish He said I see.
DarkShadoweNight: whats up stranger
eman120031: hey babie
DarkShadoweNight: ;-) hi
DarkShadoweNight: sup
eman120031: whats yo
eman120031: up
DarkShadoweNight: nothing
eman120031: noithion
DarkShadoweNight: fun
DarkShadoweNight: cause u have a life tho right
DarkShadoweNight: I hear ur comin home tomorrow
eman120031: yea
DarkShadoweNight: yay...even tho my luck it wont be much to me bc it fucks me over everytime. i prolly wont be able to see u
DarkShadoweNight: i have so much to tell u
DarkShadoweNight: talk sweety
eman120031: ill call you when i get home
DarkShadoweNight: no no i mean in person i wanna talk to u in person
DarkShadoweNight: i want to see u tomorrow
DarkShadoweNight: can u come to her party tomorrow at like 3 my bro would come get u?
eman120031: yea i wont be home until 5
DarkShadoweNight: jesus baby that is like when its gunna end
DarkShadoweNight: i told u...why do i bother...it fucks me over every time
eman120031: you want to come over to my house when i get hoem
eman120031: home
DarkShadoweNight: i will be in parish baby
eman120031: i see
DarkShadoweNight: and i dont think ryan will come all the way bak to syracuse to get u an hour after the party starts
eman120031: i see
eman120031: were are you know
DarkShadoweNight: im at my house in my room why
eman120031: do you have to go
DarkShadoweNight: do i have to go where to her party?
eman120031: ill talk to you in a fewmins
eman120031: ig2g
eman120031 signed off at 10:39:20 PM.
Lets say We are NEVER TALKIN TO JOE AGAIN. It got so incredibly bad I was restin againt a pole and I couldn't move. Screamin and cryin and bitchin and everything and It hurt me sooo bad and the rest of the crew too. OMG! I am still shocked and hurtin from him. I can't tell u the story tho. Then Mike left us too which hurt jus as bad. Mike is part of us, he is part of what makes us all, and a peice of us in definatly missing from tonight in all of is. N we had more shit with jessica and stalkers and more and more bull shit. If it had to happen at all Im glad it is with my pebo's!!! Lol. Woot. This weekend sucked. Well they left me here lol it is ottay. Im hopin erik will get bak on soon. But ya they had to bring bruce home too so. Erica is stayin the night and IDK tomorrow because plans can be different if I see erik. Which Im prayin to god that I can fuckin hang out with him for a couple hours. I would kill. Ya I have seen him occasionally fo rlike 5 minutes at his house but I wanna fuckin ahng out with him. So ya That to O SHIT HE JUS SIGNED ONNNNN YAY GOTTA GO I LOVE MY CREW *BILLIONS AND BILLIONS SERVED!!*

I hate u Go Kill Urself....

[05 Nov 2004|12:06pm]
I am in skool right now and I am gunna get in so much trouble and stuff. LOL. I am supposed to be doin my immagration project. SHakeya is sittin next to me right now. We aren't even really supposed to be here, jus call me bad ass. I am goin with the crew after skool today and I better see erik or I will flip this weekend, LOL. La u guys my crew erik and air bear....ttyl
I hate u Go Kill Urself....

Mwhaha [04 Nov 2004|10:24pm]
[ mood | busy ]

I am jus sittin here. Erik didn't get on again today. He hasn't in like 2 days, and I haven't talked to him at all in like 3 or 4 days. I swear to god If I cant hang out with him this weekend I'll blow a fuckin fit and no one will wanna hang with me, not even the crew. Dude I dyed my hair again and I made it thicker and it looks really fuckin hott. Lol, u should see it. Now I look perrty for once. Erik yells at me when I diss myself about my face and other body features. Hahaha I am talkin to biwwy. He is yellin at me bc I keep throwin myself down about how I look. A lot of ppl get mad at me. It is kinda entertainin but I don't mean to piss them off but I see what is really there and it sure as hell aint beauty. Lol. Ha I need to go to bed and get my beauty rest! haha. Update tomorrow. Erik I better talk to u tomorrow and see u this weekend!!!!! I love u. N greg u need to IM me.!!

I hate u Go Kill Urself....

hehe [04 Nov 2004|06:55pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

Kim and I ar laughin our asses of at some wuotes I posted in my last entry. Some of them are fuckin hilarious. Skool was alright. I caught up on my three days of wrok ALREADY dude. I feel special. Tit told tout tide tisnt tit? Lol My language kim and erica and gary and ryan all know it. I did it front of matt and JP their like ugh...good call. Lol. I am bored. I am talkin to Himmi. I wanna make another livejournal. Lol. Some ppl have like 5 journals. I haven't talked to erik he hasn't been on in a couple days and I haven't talked to him in like 5 days bc when he IMed me when he was on occasionaly I wasn't around. God damn it. He BETTER see me this weekend I will flip. Lol

1 burried alive ||I hate u Go Kill Urself....

[04 Nov 2004|06:45pm]

                  *Quotes*

But the answer is always there..nuthing is really ever 4 gotten
I heard the words come out I felt like I would die It hurt so much to hurt you..Cause you were made for me Somehow I'll make you see How happy you make me
I can't live this life Without you by my side I need you to survive
i'm going under drowning in you i'm falling forever i've got to break through
blurring and stirring the truth and the lies so i don't know what's real and what's not always confusing the thoughts in my head so i can't trust myself anymore My friends always told me that you would make me cry.. my friendz alwayz told me that you wud alwayz lie..my friendz alwayz told me that iw ud find sum1 knew..but my friendz never told me my heart wud alwayz want u
When I look at you my heart skips 1 beat but later that beat could mean a life time of tears wasted on some thing i knew i could never have How can you be friends with someone if everytime you look at them, it makes you want them even more? You never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose it, you can never get it back You know your in love when the hardest thing to say is goodbye i do it bcuz i can..i can bcuz i want 2..and i want 2 bcuz u sed i couldnt..today was tomorrow yesterday..its funny how a heart is 2 tear drops upside down..U seem like a sweet preson..mind if i like u 2 find out??
Theres a sparkel in ur eye that only I can see,n theres a place in ur heart where only I want 2 be. Just becuz I flirt....Don't mean I'm interested!!!
Be Sexy...Be True...Be Wild...Be You!!!!! Spoiled rotten~*~Never Forgotten~*~Daddies lil gurl~*~Living in a dream world~*~I'm not afraid to confess that imma lil PRINCESS~*~ If Love is a SIN, Punish me with KISSES. And if Love is a CRIME, I wanna be ur VICTIM. Don't let 2dayz disappointmentz cast shadowz on 2marrow'z dreamz Any ¹ Can Cat¢h Your Eye  ßut It Take§ §um §Þeacial ² Cat¢h Your Heart Came but for da friendship.....n took away Luv.
Da past can't be changed,but da future iz still in ur power.
When I wuz lil,I had a teddy bear who kept all my secrets,my adventures n wiped away my tears.I use to think no1 could take his place n then I found u!!!! Guyz r like starz...so0o0o0 many 2 pick from But only 1 can make all ur dreamz come true. Luv is ~ Blood ~ Sweat ~ n Tears ~*~ LUV Means Facing All Ur FEARS it's easier 2 get forgiveness then permission. A part of u has grown in me.And so u see,its u n me together forever n never apart, maybe in distance,but never in heart. A kiss isn't worth anything until u give it 2 sum1 else. The shortest word for Me is I. The sweetest word for Me is LOVE.
The only one for Me is YOU. It's ok to kiss a fool ~*~It's ok to let a fool kiss u~*~It's not ok to let a kiss fool u  ThEy SaY  kIsSiNg Is Da  LaNgUaGe Of LUV Care 2 You'll never know how much i miss you, you won't see it in my face.You'll never know, i'll find another to take your place. Cause i'll be smiling when i see you. No, my tears won't ever show, I might always love you. But you will never know. You Kno Ima Cutie, You Kno You Like Ma Bootie! I Kno Yer A Hottie, N I Kno I Like Yer Body!*~* **Love*Me-For*My-Mind*And-Not*My-Body*But-Play*With-My*Body-*-And-*-Not-*-With-*-My*Mind** ~*~ ¤°If~ I'm~ not~ in~ love~ with~ you * what~ is~ this~ I'm~ going~ through * and~ if~ my~ heart~ is~ lying~ then * what~ should~ I~ believe ~in * Why~ do~ I~ go~ crazy * every~ time~ I~ think~ about~ you~ baby * Why~ else~ do ~I~ want~ you~ like~ I~ do * If~ I'm~ not~ in~ love~ with~ you°¤ ~*~ $umtïn HaÞÞeñeÐ 2 Me ¦t \/\/uz Ða $weete$t thing ¦t \/\/uz A Fanta§y A Ðream ¢um Tru€ ¦t \/\/uz Ða ÐAY I [\/]€T YOU~*~ This is Me I am who I am, please accept it I know I have changed, but this is me.Please don't be mad at me, everyone changes,
sometimes it is hard to accept, but this is me. Stay by my side, I need you now more than ever, because change isn't just hard on the people around me,
it's hard on me too! Just be there for me, through all of my troubles, even though you get tired of it, I need you to be there for me... i love you i love u without knowing how i love u without knowing when i love u without knowing why i love u with all my heart i just love u and remember all u have to do when u miss me is look at my pic and at the stars and tell me u love me and i will here u and answer u  bub what am i going to do im there wif u i gotta run babe i love u True friends are few and far between and mostly hard to find, A person who lets your soul fly free and makes your happiness shine Their smiling face and open arms a common sight to see,they make all your fear and anger,turn away and flee, I'm proud to say that you are oneof these very special friends My love for you could fill an ocean I'll love you till the end
So now i thank you from my heart For allways being you So stay this way forever
cuz' your perfect through and through Invisible to you As I walk through the room, o recognition flares, no whisperings, no stares, I glance at you, your beautiful eyes, not bothering to recognize, And silently, I take a seat, a tear rolling down my cheek, As i get from you not even a single peek, you laugh at all my jokes, u pretend as though I'm there, but deep down inside, you really couldn't care,every day, looking at your face, to me feels like mace, apure and simple torture, for the fact that I can't have you,drives me insane, biting at my brain, the pain inflicted upon my heart is small when compared to my soul, as though we were far apart and I was but a ghoul, once again, I walk past you, and no recognition flares, no whispers and no stares.
I step through the door, missing you, the time we spent together was like a vivid dream always pleasure, never pain but now, the pleasure has gone away ever since that fateful day when our hearts touched I was forced to say goodbye a forbidden love of the deepest desire, burning more than the greatest fire your laugh made me smile, your tears made me cry but now all I'm wishing is that I could die Life without you is the coldest of ice ever knawing at the back of my brain dwelling on the long forgotten memories your touch still resides within my body sending shivers down my spine the life that was so great, is no longer mine every flower, every tree every plant is a living reminder to me and now and forever, I will always be missing you.
I stand Here alone, hoping your alright. I sit here, thinking about you, Every day, and every night.One of these days, You will see.ow much you truely mean to me butfor now, I will wait for you<BR>Wondering, what I can do.To Make sure that you are fine nThat one day you Will be mine.I want you to know, without you I would be sad. When i'm talking to you, Nothing is ever bad.I love the talks we have on When it's just you and me, all alone.BabyI am Glad you are there.Without you In my life it would not be fair. Me and you, would make a good pair. And with all those words, I have this to say. I love you more and more with each day.DoNt Be AfRaId To TeLl SuMoNe YoU lOvE tHeM. If YoU dO tHeY mIgHt BrEaK yEr HeArT..If YoU dOnT yOu MiGhT bReAk ThEiRz people say i am too young to fall in love, guess i look younger than i am WhUt WhUd U Do If EvErYtIme U fElL iN lOvE u HaD tO sAy GoODbYe SoMeTiMeZ yEr MiNd DoEsNt WaNt YoU tO bE iN lOvE..bUT dEeP dOwN u KnOe U R NeVa GiVe Up If U sTiLl WaNnA tRy, NeVeR wIpE yEr TeArZ iF u StIlL wAnNa CrY, nEvEr SeTtLe 4 ThE aNsWeR iF yOu StIlL wAnNa KnOe..NeVeR sAy GoOdByE iF u CaNt LeT hIm Go IlL bE dEaD n GoNe B4 U FiGuRe OuT wHuTz GoIn On Therez alwayz that one person that will always have yah heart...u never see itcomin cuz ur blinded from the start... U GotA gEt [HuRt]iN OrDeR 2 kNO <BR>FaLL In oRdEr 2  iN OrDeR 2 gAiN CuZ MoSt Of LiFeS [LeSsOnS] aRe LeArNeD iN [pAiN] I've always been the girl thats his friend, but i want to be the friend thats his girl Laundry is the only thing that shud b seperated by color If u b sugar. ill b spice , If u b fire..ill b ice, If ur cold..ill make u hot, As long as u give me all u got Even though I can say it's his loss, deep down inside I know it'll be mine too. We don't mean to hurt the ones we love but eventually we always do. I'll never be sorry for loving him, just sorry it ended so quickly  u said to smile if I love you and walk away if I didn't. Well, I smiled and you walked away, but I'll keep smiling because I still love you. They say love is forgiveness, well I'm not sure because I loved you, but I can't seem to forgive you for not loving me when you said you did, and I can't seem to forgive you for breaking my heart.
What else is a little girl supposed to do when all she needs in this world is you? Ask me how many times I've had my heart broken and I'll show you all the stars in the sky.&nbsp; Ask me how man times I've forgiven and I'll show you the same I don't miss him, I miss who I thought he was
As you left and said your good-byes you forgot to tell my heart hot to live without you It's time to let you go it's time to say good-bye No more excuses, no more tears to cry. I want you to be happy, you're my best friend. But it's so hard to let you go now, with all that could have been.
We attach ourselves so strongly to people that when they're gone, a part of us is gone too. 4a few moments you made me feel as though I actually meant something to someone...I couldn't help it when I started to cry, I've told myself that life's a lie, ...you know love sucks when your dreams slip away. I'd trade all my tomorrows for one yesterday.Wanting him-hard to forget~Loving him-hard to regret~Losing him-hard to accept~Even with all the hurt I've felt~Letting go is the most painful yet What do you do when the only person that can stop you from crying is the exact person making you cry
Sometimes the one love you can't get over, is the one love you really never had. Many say you can die only once in your life but many of the people who say that have never lost someone that they have loved The hardest thing in life is to watch the one you love, love someone else Some people are just not meant to be in your life no matter how much you want them to beMissing you isn't the hardest part, knowing I once had you is what breaks my heartLove that we cannot have lasts the longest, hurts the deepest, and feels the strongest. All though you may not love me, All though you may not care, But if you ever need me, You know I'll always be there, Your heart may not be broken, Your heart may not be free, But if you ever need me, You can always count on me
Watching you walk out of my life, doesn't make me bitter or cynical about love. It only makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along
I want to scream. I want to shout. I want to have faith and never doubt. I want to bend, I want to break, to sleep and never wake. To break down walls and to escape, be alone and hide my face. I want to feel, I want to touch. I want to stop wanting you so much.  And where is the good in good-bye?
I just want you to know that we'll never be apart, because you're always in my dreams and forever in my heart. Friends are God's way of taking care of us.
I could've treated u better, But u couldn't have treated me worse. It's he who laughs lastIs he who cries firstm Sumtimes I feel I know strangers better than my friends . Why must a beginning be the means to an end?
Ur ThE bEaUtY iN mY sOuL, ThE rEaSoN i LoSe CoNtRoL, ThE oNe i WaNt So BaD, YeT tHe oNe iLL nEvEr hAve Sometimez u gotta b-r-e-a-k the rules n standapartIgnore your h-e-a-d n follow your h-e-a-r-tParents start you off on life but friends get you through it I Like The Whole "Single*Party*Flirt" Thing, But Sometimes I Wouldn't Mind The Whole "Kissing*Holding Hands*His Girl" Thing A friend is someone we turn to when our spirits need a lift, A friend is someone we treasure for our friendship is a gift. A friend is someone who fills our lives with beauty, joy, and grace. And makes the whole world we live in a better and happier place i live for the nights i'll never remember with the friends i'll never forget best friends see hurt in your while everyone else is being fooled by your smile the best things of life are always unseen, that is why we close our eyes when we cry, kiss and dream
the creator and destroyer in all things of life is love when i looked in your eyes, i knew it was true. my heart never lies; i was in love with you. as you stood there just looking around my whole body melted right into the ground. i remember the day, the time, the place all still on my mind. you looked so good in your shirt and jeans, i remember that night and you were in my dreams. i wish i could be with you day after day, because i love you more than words can ever say when it hurts to look back and your scared to look ahead you can always look beside you and see your best friend I've got a crush on U, I've had one since the day i met U, I've only known U a year, The thought of us 2gether, Only brings me a tear, Because i know it will take a lifetime for U to finally see, How much U really mean 2 me i want a love to call my own, i want a boy who i can hold, i want someone The only guy who will ever be good enuff 4 u, is the one who thinks he doesnt deserve u No guy is worth your tears  the one that is wont make you cry A best friend is like a 4 leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have The best thing to do behind a friend's back is pat it Things change and people do to, but my love goes out to a certain few, the ones who are there through good and bad, id say theyre the best friends Ive ever had Since the first time I saw you I knew it was true, that Id love you forever and thats what ill do, you dont know what you do to me and you have know clue, you dont know what its like to be *me* looking at you I dont get to see you as much as I like, I dont get to hold you all through the night, but deep inside I know that its true, with everyday that passes by, ill always love you Last time my heart was broken, I thought that I was through, I swore I would never love you again, and believe me that this was true, but then you walked into my life, and the moment your eyes met mine, I knew that youd be worth lovin, just one more time If your asking if I need you, the answer is forever, if you asking if Ill leave you, the answer is never, if your asking what I value, the answer is you, if your asking if I love you, the answer is I do If I could ban angel, id make your every wish come true, but I am only human, just a girl loving you.
Dont walk in front of me I may not follow, dont walk behind me I may not lead, just walk beside me and be my friend I cry for the time that you were almost mine, I cry for the memories I have left behind, I cry for the pain, the lost, the old, the new, I cry for the times I thought I had you Never say i love you if you dont really care, never talk about feelings if they arent really there, never hold my hand if your going to break my heart, never say youll try if you dont plan to start, never look into my eyes if all you do is lie, never say hello if you really mean goodbye, never say forever when you dont really try, never say forever cuz forever makes me cry, never give up if you still want to try, never wipe the tears if you still want to cry, never settle for the answer if you still want to know, never say you dont love him anymore if you cant let him go Ive heard the speech a million times before, you can do better you deserve much more, I get myself sick over it, cuz I know its not true, but I dont want better, I just want you Every time im close to you, theres so much I cant say, youll never understand what you mean to me, you only walk away
EaCh TiMe i [HeAr] Ur VoIcE,i CaNt [HeLp] It ItS NoT By ChOiCe,My [HeArT] BeAtS FaStEr,My KnEeS GeT [WeAk],My StOmAcH GeTs [bUtTeRfLiES],i CaN [HaRdLy] SpEaK, EvErY MiNuTe [fEeLs] LiKe BrAnD NeW,i CaNt HeLp iT, [i  F a L L i N  4 u
If NoThInG lAsTs FoReVeR tHeN WiL YoU bE mY nOtHiNg? A guy once gave a girl 12 roses, 11 fake 1 real, he said when the last one dies il stop loving you...
Wanting u is hard to 4get, losing u is hard 2 except, but evin with all my hurt that i have felt, letting go is the most painful yet, no matter what was in the past or wut was lesft behind, i will always keep u in my hart and 4evr in my mind Id lie for you, cry for you, hold my breath n die for you
One shoe can change your life Anyone who thinks sunshine is happiness has never danced in the rain...TaNk ToPs,FlIp FlOpZ ,IcE cReAm,SwEeT DrEaMz ,LaTe NiGhTz,wAtEr FiGhTzZ , NiCe SuNtAn,A GaMe PlAn ,DaRk HaIr-No-BoDy-CaReZ ,FeEt In Da SaNd,DrInK In My HaNd ...tHaNk  iTz.. SUMMA!! graduations the day i will not say goodbye, graduation is the day i turn away and cry, all these years have drifted by too fast, please dont forget anyone that doesnt belong in your past, keep them all in your future, still there holding on, keep them near your heart, where their never gone We laughed and talked and had so much fun, but soon we will have none, we were such good friends and that u cant deny, but now we will have to say goodbye, i will miss you very much even if i will still see you, because i know we wont be like we used to, you wil go your way and i will go mine, but i will think about you all the time You helped me laugh, you dried my tears, because of you i have no fears, together we live, together we grow, teaching each other, what we must know, you came in my life, and i was blessed, i luv u friend, you are the best, release my hand, and say good bye, please my friend, dont you cry, i promise you this, its not the end, cuz like i said, you are my best friend Life isnt measured by the # of breathes you take but by the number of times moments take away those breathes
Friends are like bras: close to ur heart and all about support I wanna be the one u chill with, always huggin and kissin, and when we aint together i wanna be the one your missin, i smile each time i hear ur voice, i cant help it its not my choice, each and every moment feels brand new, i just cant help it, im crazy about you Forget the times u walked by, forget the times you made me cry, forget the times u held my hand, forget the sweet things if i can, i can no longer pretend, i gotta remember now, ur just my friend
If God brings you to it, he'll bring you through itDon't ever judge a guy by his boxers, gotta remember, its wuts on the inside that counts!!
Smiles and tears,giggles and laughs,late night calls ,cute photographs,Ill be there for you till the day of my death,Best friends 4ever, till my very last breathHilarious Days and Crazy Nights, Talking about our Boys and pillow fights, Through thick and thin and always true, Where would I be with out a friend like you??'ll always be beside you until the very end, Wiping all your tears away, being your best friend. I'll smile when you smile and feel all the pain you do,And if you cry a single tear I promise you I'll cry too
A shoulder to cry on,an ear to bend,money to borrow,clothes to lend,Friday night hangouts,afternoon walks,2am phone calls,private talks,memories together will never end, always and forever best friends!
We started our group, our circle of friends. And like that circle there is no beginning nor endGood friends are like stars....You don't always see them, but you know they are always there. When you got a smile on your face  a twinkle in your eye , only your true friends know your about to break down  cry
Friends are like uncooked Ramon Noodles; Stuck together like sisters.If a kiss were a raindrop, I'd send you showers. If hugs were a second, I'd send you hours. If smiles were water, I'd send you the sea. If love was a person, I'd send you me. My friends always told me that you would make me cry, My friends always told me that you would always lie, My friends always told me that I will find some one new, But my friends never told me my heart will always want you.love is when you dont want to go to sleep because reality is better than a dream Give me a kiss, give me the world, give me your heart, I'll be your girl, give me your smile, give me your time, give me your love, I'll give you mine<If I were a tear in your eye, I would run down your cheeks and die on your lips. If you were a tear in my eye, I would never cry in fear if losing you its not like i wanna b da one holdin ur hand..i jus i dont want her holdin it A PrOmiSe iS a PrOmIsE, ThAtZ WhAt ThEy sAy, WeLcOmE tO ReALiTy HuNnI, tHeYrE BrOkEn EvErYdAyI miss the days u held me &amp; the days i heard ur voice, i miss the days u were here, us fallin apart was not my choice, I miss the days u kissed me  the feelings we usta show, But most of all i miss the guy that i usta kno. Im not suppose to love you, im not suppose to care, im not suppose to live my life wishin you were there, im not suppose to wonder where you are or what you do, sorry i just couldn't help myself, i fell in love with youNever in a million years did I think I'd find someone so utterly and completely perfect; someone who'd make me happier than I ever dreamed I could be; someone that would touch my life so profoundly and just give me a whole new reason to breathe...But then I found you, and realized that everything I anticipated you'd be, doesn't even compare to what you are~
I dont regret the rain or the nights I felt the pain, or the tears I had to cry some of those times along the way. Every road I had to take, Every time my heart would break...It was just something I had to get through to get me to you" Friends are the part of the family we get to choose
 and qrOw&n; str0nqerpe0ple are [ fake ] let y0ur truSt last lonqer do what yOu qotta do ndalwayz stay true  never let anyone qet the beSt of yOu..CaNcel My Subscrptions....I'M oVeR uR iSsUeS.. Friends are like elevator buttons, they can either take you up or bring you down, choose wisely.friends are like starz, u don't always see them but they r always thereTrue friends, like diamonds, are precious and rare. False friends, like autumn leaves, are found everywhere Ive said wut i needed to say  Ive done wut i needed to do  Now whadever happens to us..  I guess ill leave it up to yew * CrOsS uR HaRt  hOpE 2 DiE ClOtHeZ  MaKeUp BoYs &amp; LiEs4vA DeRe TiLL Da EnDDeFiNiTiOn Of : TrU BeSt FriENdz *All you girls think you're tough...Well all your stuff ain't that rough.You think you know the deal... But it's me  my girls who be keepin it real* *I will 4ever luv uI will 4eva carei will 4ever live my life wishing u were theren as 4 long as i live i will neva walk away,as long as u promise me 1 thing.. if u come 2 me, u will stay. Hearts change, i know they do, but a part of this heart will always belong 2 u. sex is like air, its only bad when you not getting any. If you drink don't park, accidents cause people. Please tell your pants its not polite to point. A hard on doesn't count as personal growth. Take a left cuz you aint right. Never start frowning cuz u never know whos falling in love with ur smile. *im like a butterfly pretty 2c hard to catch. u can be my hot boy i can be ur hunny u can be my sex toy and ill be ur playboy bunny. some call me a slut some call me a hoe but they all scream my name louder than they know cuz ive got style ive got pride strap ur man down or ill take him for a ride. wanna play army lay down and ill blow the hell outta. beat me beat me bite me blow me suck me fu*k me very slowly if u kiss me dont be sassy use some tongue and make it nasty. good girls r made of sugar n spice but im a bad girl made of whipped cream and ice im sexy ur fine u be the 6 and ill be the 9e ur legs and whats in between.

I hate u Go Kill Urself....

[03 Nov 2004|10:02pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

That was fun. I jus got severly bitched at by mom. She came in my room and got right in my face and startin screamin at the top of her lungs. She told me To get off the computer and shit. She is gunna blow some day completely...not before me. Ugh HMMM maybe I am a failure I can sure as hell be one...wanna see. She is jus complaining about her unconfortably numb life she has. She was bitchin at dad earlier because kerry lost. Him I get some more after affect on that scene. U wanna kno what I remember best...she called me a failure...not once...but twice in one sentance. Ya that is gunna show me real motivation. If she see's me on it now she will ripe my head off literly. So she slammed my door and shit. Ugh. I love it. Drama I get. N she tells me I was nothing and I do nothing and I am a failure. Ya that is gunna get me to actually be something in life. Fuckin bitch.

I hate u Go Kill Urself....

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